I was watching the news this morning and was confronted with a disturbing story. Ironically enough, it wasn't the actual story that disturbed me, it was the incredibly irresponsible journalism that was put forth by the "undercover investigator" with this story. I'll put a link to this story from Fox Boston below:
http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/undercover/public-high-school-teacher-starred-in-porno-movies-released-last-year-20111129
If you don't want to actually read the story, here's the basics of it. The Fox Boston reporter Mike Beaudet apparently decided to do a story about a teacher at a Massachusetts High School who until at least last year had been in several homosexual pornographic films. That's it. This teacher has not had sex with or molested any of his students, he hasn't been inappropriate towards them, he never even made so much as a hint that he was involved in anything like this. By all accounts, he has been a wonderful teacher to his students, whom all respect and admire him. It wasn't until this reporter decided to smear him all over network television, including showing several of the films he has been in and even showing brief video clips of one or two of these films. Now, this teacher has been placed on paid administrative leave while the school board "investigates", which is code for determining if they will fire him.
Unfortunately, regardless of the decision of the board, this man's career is probably finished thanks to a slimy reporter just looking for a quick story to smear someone. There is a silver lining to this tale of woe. The outpouring of support for this teacher has been overwhelming. The Fox Boston Morning Team claimed that the responses to the story were "50/50". I looked at the comment feed on their own website and their Facebook page and "50/50" isn't even close. 99% of the comments on both boards are overwhelmingly in support of the teacher and utter blast the news station and reporter for trying to ruin this man's life. What bothered me even more than the shoddy reporting and misrepresentation of how much support there was for this teacher was one of the morning news anchors, Gene Lavanchy, tried to pull the age-old reporter spin by saying that if the teacher wasn't guilty of anything ("guilty" improperly implying a criminal act took place, which it did not in any shape or form) he would have spoken with Beaudet when confronted with the porn from his past. Let's be honest here folks, if some reporter with a cameraman just walks up to you at night and starts shoving porn photos in our face and asking you about your work in them, you wouldn't want to say a damn thing to him either.
This news story and the way this news station has handled it is really infuriating. I would love nothing more than to call that teacher and strongly suggest he immediately make contact with an attorney and start the process for a civil suit against the news station. Fortunately, so many people on the news station's website board and Facebook have said exactly the same thing. I just hope this teacher follows that advice.
This may seem like just some random ramble, and in part it actually is, but it's also something of a caution. While not everyone who visits my blog is inclined towards "alternative" activities, I would guess that most of you dear viewers prefer a more kinky lifestyle. While this particular news story might not apply to you, it is something to consider if you are intending to do any kind of adult or alternative film. While there has clearly been an outpouring of public support for this particular teacher, that kind of support doesn't mean anything to authoritative individuals over you who are more focused on the finances of their company (or in this case, school) than on protecting their employees. Yes, this teacher may ultimately get to keep his job after everything is all said and done, but do you really think he will be able to teach again? The few parents who do not approve of what he did will undoubtedly make a huge amount of noise that will make it impossible for this man to do his job again.
This is the way our society has turned, and so I would advise you, dear readers, to be cautious in what you do since the concept of personal privacy is fading faster and faster with each passing day.
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Tuesday 15 November 2011
The Reality of Fantasy
While I haven't been able to attend many events and play parties, much to my disappointment, I have been able to go to a few. One thing I've found myself doing in these situations is fantasizing about what might happen during these events or even during a minor encounter beyond a play party. Invariably, I've imagined everything from a nice, enjoyable time with friends that share mutual interests to the most torrid and delicious encounters with people I have yet to even meet. These fantasies are as numerous as they are varied, but they all share one common trait: I know that what will happen in reality will be no where near as scintillating as what I project in my fantasies.
For example, I might dream about attending a play party fully dressed up and meeting an unknown Dom. This Dom would go about making some kind of claim to me early in the evening, due largely to the fact that I was found attractive, appealing, and sexy and the Dom just had to have me. The night would be spent with lots of yummy bondage that would have me helplessly struggling and whimpering while he watched with a slight smile on his face. This fantasy would continue along the vein that I might find myself snuggled within his arms (I'm already rather petite and it wouldn't be a stretch for the Dom to be much bigger than I), maybe sharing a few kisses, and resulting in my submitting to give him various forms of sexual pleasure culminating in the pair of us falling asleep in bed together.
This, of course, is a fantasy. It might be a rather pleasant and erotic fantasy, but it is a fantasy. I have never actually experienced any kind of scene with a Dom or any man for that matter. Were I confronted with such a situation, I truthfully have no idea how I would react or respond. Regardless of that, I know that such a fantasy will undoubtedly never come even close to reality. Is it possible that I might meet or encounter a Dom who will want to be involved in a scene with me? Sure, it's possible. Will I want to get involved in a scene with said possible Dom? Again, it's possible. But the chances of the above fantasy playing out as I just described it are, I suspect, nearly impossible.
That's the heartbreaking fact when it comes to fantasies, reality will never truly match up with them. It would be very easy to allow this simple knowledge to completely dampen our wants and desires and dreams, and for me it nearly has on many occasions.
I can recall one particular play party that I came very close to backing out of simply because for days I had fantasized about what the party would be like and how I would look, and then I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I didn't even come close to what I pictured myself as in my fantasies. Fortunately, I got over my self-doubt (maybe loathing, depending on your perspective of it all) and did indeed go to the party, and I had a wonderful time. Did it meet with the expectations of my fantasy? Not even close. However, that didn't stop me from having a good time. In the end, isn't that what we do is all about? However, with that being said, I can certainly understand why a great many people might suddenly balk at the last minute when it comes to going to a party, a dinner, or even a simple get together or date. When reality intrudes upon what we desire to have happen, it can be very much a splash of cold water in the face. Why would we want to subject ourselves to what we know is almost certainly going to be a let down or a disappointment?
For you everyday vanilla dating scene, this might now be such a terrible experience. On your average date, if things are going sour, there are a multitude of ways to get out of the date with minimal hurting of the other: the fake phone call to come home, gently telling your date that you should just cut it short, complaining of a headache, etc. In a BDSM-style first date, it's not so simple. I'm being very general here so this of course would not apply to all scenes, but a first date scenerio when it comes to BDSM usually involves one party being tied up/chained, gagged, possibly being whipped, or possibly undertaking sexual servitude. There is no easy way to ease out of this kind of first date without either hurting the other individual (emotionally speaking) or potentially damaging their self-esteem or confidence in their ability within this type of community. Imagine, if you will, being a Dom or Domme engaged in a scene and your sub not only safewords out, but flat out says that the entire play was not fun and wanted to leave. This kind of thing happening could undoubtedly cause said Dom or Domme to potentially seriously question their abilities, and thusly hesitate to engage in play again. Conversely, how would a sub in the same situation feel where the dominant suddenly brings everything to a halt because they are not enjoying the reactions of the sub or are not satisfied with their performance? Would said submissive not seriously question whether or not they have what it takes to make a decent submissive?
Yes, I understand that these examples are rather in the extreme, but they do happen. This is where the question of what do we as individuals do when the fantasy we have outlined for ourselves involving playing and scening is the complete opposite of reality when such a scene takes place. Certainly, the arguement could be made that if things do not work out with one dominant or submissive, you can always try again with another as we as individuals are varied and complex. Unfortunately, our community is not so large that many of us have such an option. With the community of BDSM individuals itself being small, and a rather large portion of people within this community already spoken for, someone new entering into this kind of life is left with rather few options or choices for a play partner, even casually.
I'm hoping that those of you reading this blog are not hoping that I can provide some kind of bulletproof answer to these dilemas. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but this is an issue that there is no truly good answer for. Everyone is different and what may work for one will certainly not work for another. However, advice is always appreciated and I think it would be very beneficial if you, dear readers, could offer some kind of input or advice regarding this problem for those that read this particular entry and are hoping to glean some kind of answer or sollution to their troubles.
For example, I might dream about attending a play party fully dressed up and meeting an unknown Dom. This Dom would go about making some kind of claim to me early in the evening, due largely to the fact that I was found attractive, appealing, and sexy and the Dom just had to have me. The night would be spent with lots of yummy bondage that would have me helplessly struggling and whimpering while he watched with a slight smile on his face. This fantasy would continue along the vein that I might find myself snuggled within his arms (I'm already rather petite and it wouldn't be a stretch for the Dom to be much bigger than I), maybe sharing a few kisses, and resulting in my submitting to give him various forms of sexual pleasure culminating in the pair of us falling asleep in bed together.
This, of course, is a fantasy. It might be a rather pleasant and erotic fantasy, but it is a fantasy. I have never actually experienced any kind of scene with a Dom or any man for that matter. Were I confronted with such a situation, I truthfully have no idea how I would react or respond. Regardless of that, I know that such a fantasy will undoubtedly never come even close to reality. Is it possible that I might meet or encounter a Dom who will want to be involved in a scene with me? Sure, it's possible. Will I want to get involved in a scene with said possible Dom? Again, it's possible. But the chances of the above fantasy playing out as I just described it are, I suspect, nearly impossible.
That's the heartbreaking fact when it comes to fantasies, reality will never truly match up with them. It would be very easy to allow this simple knowledge to completely dampen our wants and desires and dreams, and for me it nearly has on many occasions.
I can recall one particular play party that I came very close to backing out of simply because for days I had fantasized about what the party would be like and how I would look, and then I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I didn't even come close to what I pictured myself as in my fantasies. Fortunately, I got over my self-doubt (maybe loathing, depending on your perspective of it all) and did indeed go to the party, and I had a wonderful time. Did it meet with the expectations of my fantasy? Not even close. However, that didn't stop me from having a good time. In the end, isn't that what we do is all about? However, with that being said, I can certainly understand why a great many people might suddenly balk at the last minute when it comes to going to a party, a dinner, or even a simple get together or date. When reality intrudes upon what we desire to have happen, it can be very much a splash of cold water in the face. Why would we want to subject ourselves to what we know is almost certainly going to be a let down or a disappointment?
For you everyday vanilla dating scene, this might now be such a terrible experience. On your average date, if things are going sour, there are a multitude of ways to get out of the date with minimal hurting of the other: the fake phone call to come home, gently telling your date that you should just cut it short, complaining of a headache, etc. In a BDSM-style first date, it's not so simple. I'm being very general here so this of course would not apply to all scenes, but a first date scenerio when it comes to BDSM usually involves one party being tied up/chained, gagged, possibly being whipped, or possibly undertaking sexual servitude. There is no easy way to ease out of this kind of first date without either hurting the other individual (emotionally speaking) or potentially damaging their self-esteem or confidence in their ability within this type of community. Imagine, if you will, being a Dom or Domme engaged in a scene and your sub not only safewords out, but flat out says that the entire play was not fun and wanted to leave. This kind of thing happening could undoubtedly cause said Dom or Domme to potentially seriously question their abilities, and thusly hesitate to engage in play again. Conversely, how would a sub in the same situation feel where the dominant suddenly brings everything to a halt because they are not enjoying the reactions of the sub or are not satisfied with their performance? Would said submissive not seriously question whether or not they have what it takes to make a decent submissive?
Yes, I understand that these examples are rather in the extreme, but they do happen. This is where the question of what do we as individuals do when the fantasy we have outlined for ourselves involving playing and scening is the complete opposite of reality when such a scene takes place. Certainly, the arguement could be made that if things do not work out with one dominant or submissive, you can always try again with another as we as individuals are varied and complex. Unfortunately, our community is not so large that many of us have such an option. With the community of BDSM individuals itself being small, and a rather large portion of people within this community already spoken for, someone new entering into this kind of life is left with rather few options or choices for a play partner, even casually.
I'm hoping that those of you reading this blog are not hoping that I can provide some kind of bulletproof answer to these dilemas. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but this is an issue that there is no truly good answer for. Everyone is different and what may work for one will certainly not work for another. However, advice is always appreciated and I think it would be very beneficial if you, dear readers, could offer some kind of input or advice regarding this problem for those that read this particular entry and are hoping to glean some kind of answer or sollution to their troubles.
Sunday 13 November 2011
The Beginning of Thought
I've thought of creating a blog or forum for some time. I've even tried to start one or two but could never either arrange it properly or just didn't think anyone would really care to hear my ramblings. Now, however, I've come to realize that it really doesn't matter if a large amount of people find this site or no one ever does. What does matter is that I have a place where I can express my thoughts and feelings in a place where people have the option of seeing them and even commenting on them.
Since this is my first posting, and introduction of sorts, I suppose it would be best to discuss the main focus of my blog. True, I will undoubtedly be posting about anything that strikes my interest, arouses my passions, or earns my ire, but the primary reason is because of two different, yet connected, things. For as long as I can remember, all the way back to my very early teenage years, I have always had a fascination and passion for bondage. Specifically, situational or damsel-in-distress type bondage. Now that I have grown as a person and experienced more in life, I have broadened my horizons into the various aspects of bondage itself and even moved into aspects of BDSM itself. However, my first love, if you will, has always been with the damsel-in-distress bondage. Something about seeing a lovely girl bound and gagged, presumably by a kidnapper or a robber or something along those lines, and struggling to get free all while whimpering and moaning with a frightened or desperate look in her eyes just struck me to the core. Initially, I equated it with a desire to rescue said fair damsel, sort of a hero complex. Very quickly, though, I realized it wasn't a desire to rescue the girl, it was a desire to be the girl.
This ties in with my other interest/passion. Those of you who do not actually know me before reading this, I myself am not actually female. I do, however, on a growing number of occasions, clothe and outfit myself as one. Again, this ties into wanting to be one of those damsels-in-distress, but I suppose there is also some natural curiosity regarding what it would be like to be of the opposite sex. Since the only way to truly experience such a thing is through radical surgery, a process I have no intention of doing, I choose to experience this by means of clothing and prosthetics. While the process is not perfect, it works well enough for me and I am always working on improving it. While I have yet to fully experience a damsel-in-distress situation in a bondage scene that was not a product of my own hand (which admittedly is less than satisfying anyway), I have gotten a taste of what it might be like and am anxious to do more.
As I said, the purpose of this blog is to be a canvas for my thoughts, but I foresee the primary focus being what I have just finished discussing. Please feel free to offer any comments or advice or even criticism you might have regarding my discussions, I only ask that they be kept respectful and not used as an attack against myself and others.
Since this is my first posting, and introduction of sorts, I suppose it would be best to discuss the main focus of my blog. True, I will undoubtedly be posting about anything that strikes my interest, arouses my passions, or earns my ire, but the primary reason is because of two different, yet connected, things. For as long as I can remember, all the way back to my very early teenage years, I have always had a fascination and passion for bondage. Specifically, situational or damsel-in-distress type bondage. Now that I have grown as a person and experienced more in life, I have broadened my horizons into the various aspects of bondage itself and even moved into aspects of BDSM itself. However, my first love, if you will, has always been with the damsel-in-distress bondage. Something about seeing a lovely girl bound and gagged, presumably by a kidnapper or a robber or something along those lines, and struggling to get free all while whimpering and moaning with a frightened or desperate look in her eyes just struck me to the core. Initially, I equated it with a desire to rescue said fair damsel, sort of a hero complex. Very quickly, though, I realized it wasn't a desire to rescue the girl, it was a desire to be the girl.
This ties in with my other interest/passion. Those of you who do not actually know me before reading this, I myself am not actually female. I do, however, on a growing number of occasions, clothe and outfit myself as one. Again, this ties into wanting to be one of those damsels-in-distress, but I suppose there is also some natural curiosity regarding what it would be like to be of the opposite sex. Since the only way to truly experience such a thing is through radical surgery, a process I have no intention of doing, I choose to experience this by means of clothing and prosthetics. While the process is not perfect, it works well enough for me and I am always working on improving it. While I have yet to fully experience a damsel-in-distress situation in a bondage scene that was not a product of my own hand (which admittedly is less than satisfying anyway), I have gotten a taste of what it might be like and am anxious to do more.
As I said, the purpose of this blog is to be a canvas for my thoughts, but I foresee the primary focus being what I have just finished discussing. Please feel free to offer any comments or advice or even criticism you might have regarding my discussions, I only ask that they be kept respectful and not used as an attack against myself and others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)